celeni's Cancer Blog
July 26, 2008
| Hugs and Kotex | Views: 1212 |
Here in the south we, both men and women, are known for “hugging folks”. It doesnt matter if we saw them a week ago or a year ago…whether you are in the middle of a store or walking down the road.
I guess all guys do the “manly hug” which is a side hug (lord knows-no “frontal” parts are touching) which involves throwing one arm around each other and giving a minimum of two firms pats on the upper back and/or shoulder blade area. Women, when hugging male “friends” have the same basic procedure…side hug..no frontal parts touching (we have that for our “man” which DOES involve frontal touching with perhaps some non-chalant sensual grinding) and we also give the minimum of two pats on the upper back/shoulder area…they might not be as “firm” of a pat that men give…but we do it too…think about it.
My boyfriend has a unique situation here. Even though they zapped the big tumor that mushroomed from his shoulder area all of his bones and shoulder blade in that area are sort of “fused” together and is very painful to him.
Wes is a very friendly guy. He, as a matter of fact, has been known for his manly hugs all of his adult life…I would almost venture to say that he was the “King of Manly Hugs”. A big ole 6’3 southern gentleman that has never thought twice about giving any of his friends a hug at any time…upon greeting them, maybe even in the middle of a conversation if the urge hit him. Hence…the problem.
Whenever he runs into people that know him…they anticipate his normal greeting and are ready to reciprocate. So..what can we do to protect that area. Several thoughts have come to mind…
wear a sling (which he probably should do anyway but it is somewhat uncomfortable)
try to be alert and maneuver his body in a way that would divert the “patting proccess” of the hug (this is difficult depending on how alert he might be from day to day)
scream out “DONT TOUCH MY RIGHT SHOULDER!” which could make one paranoid and completely dismiss hugging him all together (which he doesnt want).
Put either a big X in red tape on his clothing which involves too much thought and preparation when getting dressed everyday…
and then I thought…AHA! Kotex! Do they still make the big “mattress size” Kotex like they did back in the day(40 years ago) when I first started blossoming into a young lady?? Back then there were no “glue strips” to hold them in position…the only way you could tame those puppies was to wear this elastic contraption (like a female jockstrap thingy) and hook the kotex in the front and back and HOPE it didnt ride up in either direction. I guess for you too young to remember…or for you guys that have no clue what I am talking about…think of it as a very unattractive,no frills, almost orthapedic, garter belt.
Back to my great idea…if those things still exist…lets duct tape a few of them across his shoulder! Brilliant! How creative am I??? I go to share my great idea with Wes which includes hand gestures while explaining and details on the exact positioning for maximim protection…waiting for accolades on my ingenius idea. Well I am still waiting. I got a look…just a LOOK. The same look I got when I made him press my body weight with his legs to help his neuropathy. A caring look nontheless…a look that he knows I “mean well” combined with a touch of “does the elevator go to the top floor”.
Oh well…back to the drawing board. God love him..and God love everyone who has this horrid disease and their families and loved ones.
Later…
veronica 
Sharon Traywick 
Thanks for your support -
Hi Wes wear the Kotex, No one will see them.The guy’s fighting over there wear them in the Helmet. And to protect the Computers parts, so the sand will not get into them. Just don’t get the ones that smell like flowers.
Hug you two
Hi there . Hug or not hug that is the question. The Subject is at hand. Let see how may comments that we can get out of this.
I like to hug,family,friends and some times when meeting friends of friends. I always ask if it is all right. Yes women are more inclined to hug.
Men on the other hand as you have said do the pat thing. It shows that you care about that person.
I have a friend that is has been called by our Lord. Some times a hug, is all takes to let them know that you love them. You don’t have to say a word,they know.
Hug’s Sherri
All right, I have been supportive and such but this is a time when I must come to a brother’s aid. I am all good with the whole hug thing, as matter of fact I hug my brothers (the family I ride with) any time I see them. Not some homophobic side straddle hug either, I mean full on frontal man hugs, my belly is big enough that odd contact is not likely…another benefit to being a santaesque biker….I digress, sorry.
So hugging is cool, but the whole cotton pony (kotex) for the shoulder is way out. Buy him shoulder pads or a pit bull or a neon orange sign something manly and threatening! The man is a biker for pity sake, NO NO NO panty pad for him!
I feel better knowing I have stood in the gap for a brother. I will now retire for a nights rest in my favorite flowered sheets. Hehehehe…
Love yaz
Mac
Ok Guys I will take back my comment. Mac thanks for the come back. Toss those Pads… LOL.
Hugs. Sherri
Celeni; I just managed to go through last weeks postings and jumped here to respond. I too remember the belts and of course they would eventually loose their elasticity and then, well no explanation needed on that problem. You know I think there are shoulder pads in the drug store that might work. They are form fitting and you could enhance it with some sort of padding that doesn’t have the name kotex. I’m sure you will figure a way, you are a resourceful creature. Hugs or no hugs, I don’t think we change our habits after so many years of repeating the action of hugging. It’s our non verbal way of communicating. Sorry I don’t have humour today since I found too many sad stories on this blog in the last week so I’m all out of quick one liners. Guess we leave that for Mac and you of course. Hope things are better. Keep us posted. Weezie